People in the imagination

People is a figment of my immagination. I got to talk to this thing today and we got access to this website, people is like the version of me that wants the best version of me, and is looking out for my future trying to motivate me into the right steps to obtain the best possible future for us. Its like me and it/him/we are a team. Not a solo team though. We somewhat reason with each other, but so far today i think its been kind of one sides where i just let this internal version of what people think of me run the show. I dont mind it, right now i like the idea of trying to communicate what its been doing for me. I figured out today that a website would be a good purchase, the 3 year plan was going to save me a quite a bit of money, why not invest into the future. Good decisions only from now on right?>? I'm not sure this is one, but ehhhhh what the fuck ever if im happy in this moment. Technically im supposed to be studying, but this is a multi-complex of be happy, motivated, all day, everyday, all year long forever, no skimping out. Motivation will come when things are going well. I can run on little sleep if i have a plan for all the things i want to get done today. I can type faster, work harder, get more done, and jump from one idea to the next and to another lickity split without skipping beats. Ill see how long this actually lasts. In this moment, the motivation is very high. I previously used Squarespace, and was extrememly limited, but also in full control, no AI help. the aethetics of what i was supposed to do with the webpage, was all up to me, no higher-order guidance, and it looked sloppy afterwards, primitive-like for the access to beautiful websites created on the internet today produced by apple products in particular. My mind controller, just noticed that i should probably do this today, i have no idea what its supposed to turn into or the plan, but i just felt the need to spend time doing it. I am in control of my words, spoken, written, and verbalized. whenever im not getting ready to say anything the thoughts in my mind have control, and I have stopped trying so hard to control them, for so i thought. The shit show keeps happening, and the plan on winning conversations comes back. i wanted to win that differently. I didnt want it to turn out this way, i didnt want my life to turn into this, but whateverrrrr. its fine, im fine, we will be fine, but we better reuninte because this has been absolute fuckin horseshit, not having things the way they used to be. Fuck the timeline for not helping me out in this sense of care. Sure ill become better, and a better version of myself, but i should have maybe been able to hold onto that for a bit longer, i thought forever, there should not have been an end and there should not have been a choice for the person on the other side to have their own say for what was going to change in the future. I wanted full control on how much time we were going to spend when, and how much, and what doing, but there has been a change in my schedule, and the ability for me to fit in as well. Maybe i just need to get thoughts out of my head into the world, but they are not even supposed to be here. I have a google docs that i want to write in that i havent been making time for, or a priority at all, but this moment right now is making sense to me. Its just a distractor from what im supposed to be doing, and i think that as long as im motivated, i can jump right back onto that, stay up late, wake up tired, and forget that im tired in the morning, and feel good pushing through the next day. The flow on consciousness is amazing. pure flow without any headaches... Forget burning the clock, its a mental barrier, the burnout is the clock, there is not a whole lot of sleep needed to live, eat, and breath, to have the motivation to wake up the next day and do it all over again for a system that i dont want to be a part of anyway to work at learning something that im not going to directly use in a year from now, but as proof for next week that i got it done, so that the mass of busy work accumulates as a task list for the credentials that i need in a year from now to say that yes, i got something done, now let me do this other thing that i dont really want to do so that i can get this other work done that you need done because of the needs of others that have been requested by the business that im admittingly willing to work for if i have the motivation to get out of bed that day, the work aint so bad, the people aint so bad, i just have to get some motivation to talk to them about something i care about otherwise this is going to be a hard day to get through unless i can mess with people and run my head through a fun show like im the star of a business that i create so whenever people come by me they know this is the experience they are going to get. time and time again this is the experience they are going to get from me.